Thank you all that reviewed my first Heroes story, "Convulsion", this
story is a companion to "Convulsion" in Peter's point of view. Just
another snipnet, so I know it is short. A little spoilery to
"Convulsion" so you may want to read that one first.
Title: State of Mind
Written By: Stef With an F
Fan dom: Heroes
Disclaimers: Tim Kring, and NBC own the rights to this show not me, I’m just a fan
Rating: K+: Mild language, Reference to violence
Characters: Peter and Nathan
Spoilers: Chapters 1 through 11, Companion piece to “Convulsion”
Point of View: Peter
Summary: Another insight to the end of fallout, a continuation of “Convulsion” but this time in Peter’s view.
Peter gasped for air as he came back from his vision of an empty New York street. Mohinder was there. He had a smile on his face at first but then it turned to a look of fear.
The scenery of the empty cars and the abandoned streets, Officer Parkman keeping everyone away from him without giving him any answers. The silence scared him. But not as much as the answer-less “I’m sorry” from Claire. Or the solemn faces of Hiro and Ando.
Or Mostly, the grievance on Nathan’s face as he walked closer and closer to him.
“Please Nathan,” Peter wanted to scream but couldn’t, “What is going on?”
Peter stared as his hands as the answer came rushing in as Peter saw his hands glowing...No No Nooooo...
“It’s alright, it’s alright,” Nathan reassured calmly
No, it’s not alright Nathan.
“It’s all my fault.”
“What are you talking about?” Nathan asked.
“It’s me”, Peter gasped, as he fell unconscious.
Nathan gently caressed Peter’s chin. You need to Breath Peter.
I’m sorry Nathan.
“Breathe. Come on Peter Breathe.”
Nathan cradled Peter in urgent desperation.
Nathan, I have to stop the bomb, I have to save everyone.
“He’s breathing,” the officer stated.
“Why won’t he wake up?” Nathan asked.
“I don’t know.”
“Here come the ambulance now.”
Peter felt himself above his body as he watched as the just arrived rescue team work on him, trying to keep his breathing stabilized.
Nathan paced no farther that a foot away from the rescue team, his eyes focused on Peter.
Peter couldn’t help but touch his brother’s shoulder.
Nathan shuddered at the hand of his brother Peter’s spirit.
“Peter,” he whispered, “You can’t leave me.”
Peter fell a pang of urgency pulling him back into his body. He wanted to save the world and his brother at the same time, and he made what would be tonight’s compromise.
“Wait, okay, he’s breathing on his own but it’s hollow,” a paramedic said.
“Thank God,” Peter heard his brother whisper.
“Are your riding along?” the driver of the ambulance asked.
Peter didn’t hear Nathan’s answer, but he could feel him standing next to him.
“Peter,” Nathan said. “I know what you are thinking.”
Oh? Do you Nathan?
“Oh yeah, I know,” Nathan repeated. “And I don’t even need to read your mind.”
Peter lay there silent as the paramedics hook him up onto the stretcher, and carried him into the ambulance.
“And I can’t believe you can be that selfish,” Nathan mumbled, dismayed.
What? I am just trying to save the world. To be someone important, to be somebody.
“I know you want to be somebody. And I want be somebody too. To make a difference,” Nathan continued.
The paramedic glared at Nathan, but Nathan continued.
“What do you want me to tell our mother, when she asks me what happened to you?”
“I can’t tell her the truth. That you tried to kill yourself and then finally got your wish.”
But I...I didn’t do that Nathan!
Nathan covered his eyes and sighed, before taking Peter’s hand.
“Why am I always here when you need me, huh Peter? Even when you have this great knack to just to drive me nuts?”
Because you are my brother. I will never lose faith in you. Why do you think I am here now? Allowing you to keep me in this world. What if this is my purpose Nathan? You can’t let me blow up the city.
And then Peter realized what he was doing. He was allowing himself to suffer for what he thought he was going to do. Hiro wouldn’t have asked him to save the world if he was the one that destroyed, would he? It didn’t make sense to him. But the pain he felt was so real and the visions were so real. He didn’t want to believe what he believed yet he did and he could tell that even though Nathan wanted to hide under his candidate suit and his congressman envisions he believed almost as much as he did.
Ignorance is bliss, but knowledge is power.
“I’m not leaving you, Peter,” Nathan said again. “But please give me a reason to believe.”
I will when I have one Nathan.
Peter stared expressionless at the ambulance ceiling as the two brothers traveled down the quiet Texan street. He saved the cheerleader but wasn’t given a moment to breathe.
“Forget the world for a moment Peter and save yourself.”
No, he wouldn’t be able to accept the reflection, the burden of Atlas and the weight on his shoulders.
“How can you save the world when you know nothing of power?” It was a phrase that tormented Peter’s mind.
Nathan held Peter’s hand close to him.
“I’m scared Nathan”, Peter stated internally.
I don’t know what I should do.
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